


Some Kind of Bliss

by SorryICantBeWhatYouNeed



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, The universe fucked up, pretty open ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 11:38:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11230158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SorryICantBeWhatYouNeed/pseuds/SorryICantBeWhatYouNeed
Summary: Prompt: Everyone is born seeing only in shades of gray. When you meet your soulmate, color invades your life.What would happen in the universe fucked up?When Gavin met Michael for the first time, there was an explosion of color. Michael didn't make any sign that he saw it, too, so Gavin kept it inside him, locked away.Michael met Lindsay, and they were perfect together. Both had bumped into each other and when they blinked and they could see the wonderful hues of the world bleed into their vision, they knew it was meant to be.Michael is Gavin's soulmate, but Gavin wasn't his.Gavin wasn’t bitter.That was a lie.He was bitter as hell because really it should’ve been him and Michael saying ‘I Do’ but the universe, it appeared, was capable of fucking up and ruining lives.





	Some Kind of Bliss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sheronthekitty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheronthekitty/gifts).



They said it happened in two stages.

First there was fear.

And really that was understandable, you go your whole life only seeing shades of gray and then suddenly, color!

Gavin found it amazing that one day he might be out in the world buying ice cream and then he might turn around and lock eyes with someone and be able to see the blue in their iris.

He could definitely see how that might be scary.

And then they said there was complete and utter euphoria.

Total contentedness and excitement because, wow, your whole life led to this moment and really, where was your meaning before that? Sure you had friends and your family, but when you found, The One, that was a different story. Your life became about experiencing color with your soulmate, running around and trying to make up for lost time. But it wasn’t like you had to learn them, that just came with your soulmate, you knew everything, and yet people still felt the need to spend hours outside every day and soak in the color. Sure, it seemed weird when you were growing up and they taught you about this in school, especially because there was no age limit. Gavin went to school with at least ten kids that had met their soulmate by the time they turned seven. Overall though, he did find it kind of cool that the universe worked like this.

Gavin only got half the experience though.

The Achievement Hunter office had been shown dozens of times before in the background of videos or in tweets made by various Rooster Teeth employees but when Gavin walked in for the first time, there were cables all over the floor, five desks covered in consoles and monitors, a broken computer chair in the corner and one empty desk by the door that Gavin assumed was his. He was in love with it already.

He was still taking it all in when a throat cleared behind him and he turned around to find Geoff standing with two older men, one with a long beard and glasses and the other with some stubble and a hand wrapped around a can of diet coke.

“Gav, this is Ryan,” he pointed to coke hand, “and this is Jack,” he pointed at beard. Gavin knew who they were from the videos but seeing them in person was a different experience. They both smiled at him and offered their ‘It’s nice to meet you’s’ before Geoff was whisking him away to the support room to meet Steffie and Larry, Trevor and Mica, Matt and Kent and then he was being tugged back into the main office where there were two younger boys leaning over a desk to watch something on a screen who weren’t there earlier.

“That’s Jeremy,” he pointed towards the shorter one. Gavin knew all about Jeremy ‘Monster Truck’ Dooley and he was super excited to work with him and see what kind of editing skills the other could teach him. “The other one is Michael. He’s the Rage Quit guy,” Geoff added.

Both boys looked up at the sound of their names being called. Jeremy smiled and waved at him before turning back to the screen so Gavin turned his attention to Michael and blinked.

There it was. The fear.

It was hard not to notice that the world was suddenly bright and vibrant and beautiful and, and, and… colorful.

Then he was overcome with excitement because he was surrounded by green things, and blues and reds and _brown._ Michael’s eyes were brown. Michael was his soulmate. Michael ‘The Rage Quit Guy’ was his soulmate. His hair was a beautiful reddish brown mix and- and then Gavin realized everyone was staring at him.

“The fuck are you looking at?” Michael asked.

“Gavin, I told you not to be a weirdo,” Geoff elbowed him. Gavin shook himself out of it and that’s when his excitement completely plummeted.

Michael didn’t react like he had just had his world flipped upside down. He wasn’t running across the room to hug Gavin and confess that he had waited his entire life for this moment, for Gavin. Michael was staring at him like he was a weirdo and God he probably _did_ look like one, just staring at him like that and Jesus, he had heard about this before. It was rare, but possible that some people got soulmates that didn’t get them back and- fuck!

He was gonna throw up. He couldn’t run out of the room though, frozen by shock and fear. They were still looking at him, more concerned than anything and Gavin was just glad that there was no way for everyone else to see what had just happened because the last thing he needed was Geoff to pity him at home or the other boys to mock him or Michael to- why was he coming over to Gavin now? Was it possible he was reacting late? Was he-

“Hey man, I was just joking around. Sorry if I startled you,”

Gavin felt his face heat up and finally with Michael so close to him he was able to breathe again. “Sorry mate,” he forced out, almost wincing with how high his voice was. “I zoned out,”

“It’s all good,” Michael smiled. “Uh, anyway,” he cleared his throat face going pink. He reached out to pat Gavin on the back. “Welcome aboard,”

“Thanks,” he all but whispered. He watched Michael walk to his desk, cheeks still dusty pink and Gavin decided to hold onto that color when Geoff shoved Gavin to his new desk, right next to Michael’s. He kept it with him when they started their first Let’s Play and he was introduced to the fans and he held onto it when the work day was over and Michael waved goodbye across the lot.

~

“-vin? Gav? Hello?” Michael’s hand was waving in front of his face, fingers snapping twice to bring Gavin out of his head. The sound was loud in the quiet room and really, why were there no other groomsmen in the damn grooms dressing room?

“Sorry, what?”

“Jeez boi, don’t disappear on me now. I need you here,” he joked.

Gavin tried to smile convincingly but he knew it must’ve come off as fucking miserable because he absolutely was.

It had been two years since he met Michael. Two years of pure fucking agony for Gavin, but euphoria and contentedness for Michael. Not that he knew though. Gavin was good on his promise to himself. He never spoke a word about the first day they met and now he was standing in a fucking dusty pink room across from Michael who was adjusting his tie for the millionth time and he couldn’t even enjoy it because in a little over an hour he would be walking down the aisle to wait for Lindsay and marrying her to spend the rest of his life with her.

Gavin wasn’t bitter.

That was a lie.

He was bitter as hell because really it should’ve been him and Michael saying ‘I Do’ but the universe, it appeared, was capable of fucking up and ruining lives.

Michael was pacing the room _again_ because apparently that’s what grooms did on their wedding day. They walked around muttering to themselves and checking their ties and making sure their hair looked nice because they always got it cut the day before or the day of and what if she hated it? What if it made all their wedding photos look stupid? Too late now.

“Do I look okay?” he asked. Gavin had already answered this question five times but saying this would just result in a punch to the shoulder.

“You look great boi,”

“Do you think she’ll like it?” he gestured to his light pink tie, Lindsay had given him the freedom to pick whatever color tie he wanted for the groomsmen and let it be a surprise. Gavin was about to open his mouth to answer when Michael seemed to remember that Gavin ‘still hadn’t met his soulmate’ “Sorry, I always forget,”

Gavin didn’t tell him that he could see color, he knew exactly what stupid shade of pink it was, he knew how it looked against Michael’s pale skin and how it made his brown eyes seem even darker and Lindsay would absolutely love it. Instead he just smiled tightly, “I don’t need to know what color it is to know she’ll love it,” he gave this answer a lot in the wedding process. Michael always went to him with different color schemes and ideas before he would remember that the other was ‘still colorblind’ and set it aside to ask Geoff later.

“Right,” he nodded, tucking it back under his jacket and making sure all his buttons were done up properly and that it didn’t look too big on him. “I just… I’m so excited you know?”

Gavin did know, it was all anyone at Rooster Teeth had been talking about for months now. Another set of soulmates taking the final step to spending their lives together. Wasn’t. It. Just. So. Exciting?

“I know boi, it’s gonna be great,” it was the same answer he had given for months now, and it would be, for them. And really that was all that mattered. If Michael and Lindsay were happy then that was it, because Gavin wasn’t a factor in their relationship, even if he really was a huge one.

He was destined for Michael but Michael was made for Lindsay and if they knew that… he probably wouldn’t have been invited to the wedding, more for his own sanity than anything else.

“She’s gonna look so beautiful,” he continued. “I hope I don’t cry, Geoff says I’m gonna cry but I don’t think I will, I think she will, absolutely she will, but I think I’ll be able to hold it in and-”

Gavin wasn’t listening anymore, not that Michael noticed. He was too busy focusing on the blue comb on the dresser across the room. It was easy to focus on something when no one knew he could really see it because they thought he was just staring aimlessly. They didn’t know he was trying not to cry, trying not to scream or freak out but wasn’t because he was so caught up in a damn blue comb.

When you meet your soulmate you learn every color and it’s name, like it was really there all along and you can remember being three at the park and seeing a gray stroller across the playground, but now you know that it was really red and the wheels had little blue stars on them that would swirl when the stroller was in motion.

What you also learn when you meet your soulmate though, something Gavin liked more than being able to see color, if that colors are attached to emotions. And some people would say that was stupid and childish but the first time he felt a color it was blue, and he had been sad plenty in his life, when he fell and scraped his knee or when someone stole his ball at recess or when his mom wouldn’t buy him some new gadget, but when you know what color you are in the moment it was a million times more intense.

He had been working at Achievement Hunter for eight months and for some reason that day had been harder than any other. He was tripping over every other word because playing a video game and trying to tell someone where you were without just saying ‘I’m at the orange building in the center of the town’ or ‘I’m the one in green’ was pretty fucking hard.

He and Geoff had just walked into the house and flopped onto the couch when Geoff grabbed the remote out of Gavin’s hand and turned to look at him.

“Eh what? Our shows gonna start soon!” Gavin whined, reaching over the bearded man to get the remote but Geoff just chucked it across the room and turned to Gavin with that serious expression on his face that made Gavin’s insides squirm.

“It’s Michael isn’t it,” he didn’t even bother stating it at a question because he already knew the answer.

“What?” there it was again. The fear that Gavin felt when he first met Michael and saw everything, like a paint filled canon had exploded all over a white wall.

“Michael. The day you met him. You saw him, didn’t you?” Geoff’s voice was full of pity and understanding and Gavin hated it.

“I see everyone Geoff,” he tried to joke but his throat felt like it was closing and Geoff didn’t even bother hitting him or calling him a dumbass, that’s how obvious he must’ve been. “Yes. It’s Michael,”

“Why didn’t you tell him?”

Gavin didn’t need to ask where this was coming from. Lindsay had started at Rooster Teeth two weeks ago and when Michael saw her… it was all over.

“He didn’t see anything,” he shrugged. He stood up and left the room, going into the kitchen for a beer or something stronger but Geoff was right behind him, not letting him run away from the conversation.

“So?”

“I couldn’t,”

“You could’ve,” Geoff pressed and Gavin couldn’t help but tilt his head at him. Was he stupid? Gavin couldn’t just walk to Michael’s apartment and announce that he had been lying to him since the minute they met. It was selfish.

“I mean… I could’ve, but… it’s too late now right?”

“He’s going to marry Lindsay,”

“What?” they had just met, the thought of marriage was so absurd, Gavin hadn’t given it proper thought yet.

“She’s his soulmate. He’s going to marry her,” Gavin didn’t even bother saying that it was possible they wouldn’t. Some people didn’t like their soulmate whether they were destined together or not, some people just didn’t click like the universe meant for them to.

“Then why does it matter if I told him or not?” he snapped. He didn’t even bother finding a bottle opener, just setting the cap against the counter and slamming his hand down on it to pop it off. Geoff just raised a brow and opened the silverware drawer to find the bottle opener and do it properly.

“Who knows? You might’ve been able to change it,”

What the hell was Geoff talking about? There was no point now and they all knew it. “He wouldn’t have started seeing color just because I told him I could,”

“No, but he could’ve given you a chance. Maybe he would’ve ignored Lindsay when they met,”

Gavin tried not to entertain that thought too much. It just wasn’t possible. Lindsay and Michael had been inseparable since they met and Gavin knew if he and Michael had been in a relationship Michael would’ve dumped him that night to be with her.

“Too late now,” he shrugged again, taking a long swig from his drink and then reaching for another because clearly this was gonna be a good night to drink.

“Gavin,” Geoff’s voice was soft and Gavin didn’t even know what the point of this conversation was. Was Geoff just trying to tell Gavin he fucked up? He already knew that thank you very much.

“Drop it Geoff, I have,” he moved toward the door with his two beers and left Geoff standing in the dim light of the kitchen so he could go lay in bed and be alone. If he was gonna do it for the rest of his life he might as well get used to it sooner rather than later.

~

Michael was staring at himself in the mirror again and when he saw that Gavin was looking his way he smiled in the reflection and turned around, walking the ten steps to where Gavin was leaning against a rather uncomfortable and hideous pink and red couch.

“Gavin, I- thank you so much for being here today man,”

“Of course Michael,” he didn’t add that he was always meant to come to Michael’s wedding, he was always meant to be standing up there with him, just not like he was about to be.

“No really Gav, I’m really glad that I met you,” he reached out to grab both of Gavin’s arms and squeeze. He was looking at Gavin with that stupid happy grin and his cheeks were pink like usual and this was so messed up.

“I’m glad too Michael,”

“I just… you’ve been so supportive and amazing to me about this whole thing and I know it can’t be easy on you,” he paused and Gavin almost choked. What was he talking about? Did he know something? Did Geoff say something? “God, I kept calling you in the middle of the night with nerves and questions and ruined your sleep schedule for a bit there,” he laughed.

Gavin’s heart started beating normally again. “It’s okay Michael, I know this is a huge thing for you,”

“You’re awesome Gavin, your soulmate is gonna be so lucky to have you. Whenever they get off their ass,” he was smiling so wide and Gavin couldn’t concentrate again. He felt like a piece of shit. Soulmate or not, Michael was his best friend and this was his big day and Gavin was being a brat. He had two years to get used to the fact that Michael would never love him and yet here he was zoning out and imagining a different world where he would be in the other dressing room with Jeremy and Geoff and he’d get to gush to them about how excited he was to start this next chapter.

“Hopefully they’ll get here soon,” he said, swallowing back tears and praying that Michael would let him go and walk away so he wouldn’t burst into tears.

For once someone was listening and a second later Michael was releasing his arms and fixing his pants and making sure his shoes were tied again.

Gavin watched him walk the perimeter of the room, slowly, like he was counting the steps to calm himself. Gavin watched him do it two more times and thought that maybe… maybe Geoff was right. Maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe he could- no. This was Michael’s fucking wedding day. But… he could’ve just said it as a joke right? Could just mention it as a passing comment. A simple ‘Michael, I’ll be honest, I was really upset that you weren’t my soulmate but I’m really glad that you found Lindsay, she’s perfect for you’ because she _was._ She was fucking sunshine in human form. She was beautiful and funny and she and Michael got along like fish and water. They were perfect. They were _soulmates._ Maybe Michael would be so caught up in Gavin’s praising of his future wife he wouldn’t notice?

He opened his mouth to say… something, anything, but before he could Michael’s voice was speaking up from the other side of the room. “She’s gonna look so fucking beautiful,” he had said it a million times but now Gavin was just annoyed. Of course she was gonna look good. She could’ve worn a fucking trash bag and Michael would still think she created the moon and hung the stars for him. “Do you want me to explain it to you?” Gavin jumped, not realizing that Michael had moved across the room to be by his side again.

Gavin almost winced. This was something Michael did for him whenever he was excited about something and wanted to talk about colors and all the amazing things going on that Gavin supposedly had no idea about. “Sure,” he smiled.

Michael beamed at him, moving so he was in front of Gavin so he could touch things on him and explain them as best he could. “So, this is pink,” he grabbed the tie wrapped around Gavin’s neck, reaching up with his other hand to tighten it before he continued. “It’s like…” he always had trouble explaining the color pink to Gavin so why he would start there was a mystery but Gavin kept quiet so he didn’t blurt out that pink was his favorite color. Had been since he met Michael and probably always would be despite the fact that he was about to watch the love of his life marry someone else while wearing it. He wouldn’t tell Michael that pink reminded him of the time he was little and walked into the living room on Christmas morning and saw his parents kiss under the mistletoe, so in love and light and happy. He wouldn’t tell Michael that pink reminded him of sunsets with your loved ones and walks at two in the morning in town while you’re drunk off your ass and can’t stop smiling at your best friend. He wouldn’t tell Michael that pink felt like home.

“It’s like light, it’s happy and airy and it’s a lighter shade of red,” he moved his hands from the tie to the flower in Gavin’s pocket, a small red rose that Michael and all the groomsmen had. “And red is really aggressive, it’s like anger in a color but it’s also really pretty,” Gavin wouldn’t say he knew, because he had seen that color a million times, had heard Michael explain it a hundred more.

He saw it in Ryan’s shirt on the day he met Michael and he saw it in mixed drinks at the bar, and he saw it the day Lindsay met Michael. Not in her hair or an inanimate object on his desk. He literally only saw red because Michael was so light and happy and excited and it really wasn’t Gavin. It just solidified the fact that Michael would never fall in love with Gavin. He would never wake up and see color and realize that Gavin was his soulmate.

Michael had thrown the door to the Achievement Hunter office open and walked in proudly announcing “I met my soulmate!”

There was applause around the room and cheers from everyone else and Gavin couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.

“Her name’s Lindsay, she’s the new intern,” he couldn’t stop fucking smiling and his face was like a permanent shade of pink. Gavin wanted to throw up.

“That’s awesome Michael,” Jeremy said, standing up to give the other boy a hug and pat on the back. It was always a big deal at Rooster Teeth when you met your soulmate, especially if they also worked at the company. Geoff had joked a few times that he wanted to hire everyone’s soulmates and be the only company in the world with only married couples or people in relationships. It was stupid really but he thought it would be romantic and cute and make great content.

“Boi!” Michael said causing Gavin to jump and look up at him. “Can you believe it? I met her, she’s perfect,”

Everything was red and Gavin was so mad and confused and he wanted to scream, but Michael’s eyes were so gentle and he just… he was already gone for this girl. “That’s amazing boi,” he smiled before turning around to continue editing. Everyone moved on shortly after, going over to recording schedule for the day and trying to set everything up as quickly as possible but Gavin couldn’t pay attention. He was furious and it wasn’t fair to be mad at a girl he had never met. This wasn’t her fault. She just went to work and realized that she was chosen to be with the best person in the world for the rest of her life. They were halfway through a GTA recording when Gavin got blown up by a stray sticky bomb and slammed his controller down.

“God dammit Jack!” he snapped, shoving his chair away and stalking out of the room to the bathroom.

He was halfway there when a girl turned the corner with red hair and bright blue eyes. He bumped into her and sent her stumbling back a few steps. “I’m so sorry,” he said immediately, reaching out to steady her. He had never seen her before and it was then that his heart sank and he peeked down at her name card and saw ‘Lindsay Tuggey’ written in big black letters.

This was the girl. And she was beautiful and even though Gavin had nearly knocked her over and cracked her skull open she was smiling at him with perfect pink lips and straight white teeth.

“It’s okay, I’m not quite sure where I’m going,” she laughed.

“Where are you looking for?” he tried to sound normal because she was a stranger and he refused to be a dick to an innocent girl.

“I was looking for the Achievement Hunter office,”

“Last door on the right,” he pointed down the hallway he had just walked down.

“Thank you,” she beamed. “I’m Lindsay by the way,”

“Gavin,” he nodded, moving around her so he could just get to the fucking bathroom.

“See you around!” she called behind him.

He slammed into the bathroom, thankful that no one else was there and shoved his hands down hard on the sink, trying to just breathe.

He wasn’t mad at Lindsay. He wasn’t mad at Michael. He was mad at the world. He was mad at whatever God or being created the fucking soulmates curse. He was mad that he spent his whole life looking forward to the day he’d meet Michael and they’d live happily ever after and something or someone somewhere somehow said ‘Fuck you Gavin Free’ and sentenced him to a life of lies and loneliness. As if that wasn’t bad enough he was mad at himself too because maybe if he had just told Michael the truth they would’ve worked through it and tried, or maybe they would’ve told him to quit so he didn’t have to watch Michael fall in love with someone else and plan a life with her.

He was just mad. He thought about punching the mirror so he could bleed the color that kept invading his vision but then Jack was pushing the door to the bathroom open and stepping towards Gavin like he was a ticking time bomb.

“Hey, I’m really sorry about the sticky bomb man,” he said calmly, but he looked like he was ready to bolt out the door the second Gavin started screaming.

“It’s okay,” he shrugged. “It was just a long night,”

Jack just nodded like he understood completely even though Gavin knew he didn’t have a clue.

He returned to the office with Jack and sat at his desk quietly, ignoring the eyes on him. He picked up his controller and ran towards the chaos the other’s had started at the bank, earning himself a three star wanted level and focusing on getting Ryan and Jeremy out with the money safely.

~

“It’s show time,” Michael was smiling at him and Gavin shook his head to clear his thoughts. Michael was done explaining their outfits and the room around them. He was done pacing and checking his hair in the mirror and he was done being a single man. In ten minutes Lindsay was going to walk down the aisle and they were going to gaze into each other’s eyes and say ‘I Do’ and Gavin was gonna leave the reception early claiming that he was sick but really he would just drown himself in alcohol and cry. “How do I look?” Michael asked and Gavin found that he wasn’t even annoyed this time. Just tired, exhausted and ready to get this all over with.

He wasn’t even thinking when he responded. “You look great, pink is a really good color on you. Makes your eyes look even browner,”

Michael’s smile dropped slowly, eyebrows knitting together and Gavin tilted his head, going through his mind to figure out what he had said and- oh fuck.

“What?”

“I- I just figured,” he shrugged. “It’s probably true,” he was getting nervous now and when he was nervous he was a bad liar. Michael knew this. He couldn’t pick up on a color, couldn’t focus on one thing solely, he couldn’t bring himself to just shut Michael out and pretend like it never happened. He couldn’t grab the blue comb or the red rose or anything pink in the overly pink room. He just couldn’t do it.

“You… you can see?” he asked gesturing to himself, to Gavin, to the room around them.

This was it. Make or break time. He could come clean now, he could run, he could lie and say it was someone else, he could laugh and say he’s kidding, he could… “Well, who was it?” Michael asked, reaching out to pat Gavin on the shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” he was trying to look happy but Gavin knew him well enough to know he was on the verge of knocking something over or screaming and Gavin was really starting to feel bad. This was Michael’s wedding day and now he was dropping the color bomb on him right before go time.

“It’s no one, go get married boi, we can talk later,” his voice was thick with unshed tears and he really didn’t wanna do this right now.

“No way Gav,” Michael sounded like he was trying not to cry either and Gavin refused to let himself hope that it was because Michael didn’t like the thought of someone else being Gavin’s, it was probably more from the thought of betrayal for who knows how long of Gavin being able to see everything just as clearly as Michael. “I need answers,” he sounded harder now, angrier.

He opened his mouth before he snapped it shut again. He wouldn’t look at Michael and he couldn’t stop his eyes from misting over and then he finally sucked in a breath and looked up.

Michael was looking at him like he had never seen him before, like he was a complete stranger, but there was something in his eyes that told Gavin he knew.

So Gavin did the one thing he had wanted to do every day since he met Michael, the thing he would never be able to do again after Michael and Lindsay made it official. He stepped forward and grabbed Michael’s shoulders and pulled him in for a kiss, a brief press of lips that Gavin would have to hold onto for the rest of his life. Michael didn’t push him off, he didn’t kiss back either but Gavin surged forward and after a moment he pulled back and released Michael, taking a step back.

“I- you- we- but… what?” he didn’t blame Michael for sounding hurt, confused, pissed. He didn’t blame him one bit, maybe it would be easier if he could, but all he could do was sigh and stare at the ceiling so the tears in his eyes wouldn’t spill over. “Gavin,” Michael demanded. Gavin’s head snapped down and their eyes met and Gavin couldn’t stop himself anymore, didn’t want to because who really cared anymore? It was over.

“The day we met… I- you asked what I was looking at and I couldn’t answer because… it was everything Michael,” the tears spilled over and Gavin was so glad they weren’t wearing makeup because he absolutely would’ve ruined it. “I saw everything for the first time and you- you didn’t. You didn’t see a thing when you looked at me and I was heartbroken, but I couldn’t tell you. I just couldn’t,” he didn’t know what else to say. He was confused and this was awkward and Michael looked so sad and unsure and it was his God damn wedding day. Gavin was the worst person he had ever met.

Michael didn’t say anything though. He didn’t tell Gavin it was okay, or that he hated him and never wanted to see him again, he didn’t tell him to leave, and weirdly enough, what hurt the most, was he didn’t tell Gavin he loved him too. Which was understandable for fucks sake, but Gavin couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his stomach because that was really it. Michael knew and he was about to marry Lindsay and it was done.

Michael walked out of the room a second later and Gavin knew they had one minute before Lindsay would walk down the aisle, totally unaware that Gavin had just made her soon to be husband a cheater, unaware that Michael now had a lot more on his mind than just getting through his vows and saying the two magical words that would make it all real.

He grabbed a tissue off the vanity table and wiped at his red face before fixing his jacket and booking it out of the dressing room to get to the altar before Lindsay and the bridesmaids.

Surprisingly he made it just before Michael who walked up without a word and shrugged off Geoff’s comment of ‘Took you long enough’. He had an expressionless look on his face and Gavin refused to let himself cry again, at least not until after the ceremony where he could just pretend that it was from happiness for his best friend. He also refused to look at Geoff who was sat in the front row, giving him calming looks and silently telling him to just breathe.

Instead he focused on the shoes of the people in the front row as the music started and everyone stood to see Lindsay in all her beauty make her way towards her forever.

He focused on Jack’s green socks and almost cried again because green was the color of his eyes. Green was Michael’s favorite color.

They had been drinking for hours, completely smashed, and every time Gavin thought about that night he thought about what a miracle it was that he didn’t blurt out his secret right then, but by some stroke of luck they survived their time at the bar and the Uber back to Michael’s apartment where they were planning on playing some games before Gavin called for Geoff to come get him. It was their last boy’s night before Lindsay moved in with Michael and after a few rounds of Halo and discovering that they were far too drunk to work an Xbox controller they opted to lay side by side on the floor of the small apartment, trying to calm their spinning heads.

“She’s got that fiery red hair ya know? And her eyes are just like… they’re like the ocean man,” Michael had been talking about Lindsay for a good twenty minutes and Gavin was too drunk to be upset, so he just hummed along in agreement and then Michael was sucking in a sharp breath and Gavin was letting his head slowly swing to the side, cheek pressed to the carpet, so he could look at Michael. “Shit man, I’m sorry, I forget sometimes you know?” he said and it took Gavin a minute understand what he was talking about.

“Oh right,” he nodded. “It’s okay boi,”

“Do you ever get sad, not knowing what you look like?”

“I can see myself just fine Michael,”

“But you don’t _know,”_

“I know enough,” he shrugged.

“Do you want me to explain it to you?” Michael leaned up on his elbow so he was hovering over Gavin.

“What?”

“Do you want me to explain what you look like to you? Colors and all that?”

Gavin thought about telling him it was fine, that he didn’t have to do that, but at the same time he was kind of excited to see what Michael thought of his appearance, one he had studied countless times after starting at Rooster Teeth.

“Sure,” he shrugged. What was the worst thing that could happen?

“Okay,” he reached out and Gavin’s heart stopped beating when he rested his hand on Gavin’s neck, touching his bare skin with his warm hand. “You’re tan, and that’s like… it’s a light color, and it’s like… you’ve been to the beach right?” he asked, looking up at Gavin’s eyes. He nodded lazily and closed his eyes so he could picture it, as if he didn’t already know. “Okay, well, it’s like…. It’s like sand, like kinda damp sand,”

“I look like wet sand?” Gavin joked and Michael was quick to swat at his face, almost poking him in the eye.

“Damp, not wet, and you’ll know someday,” he waved him off. “And your hair is like light brown, which is darker than tan and,” Gavin was finding it hard to keep up with how quickly Michael started talking. He brought his fingers away from Gavin’s hair and pressed them to Gavin’s lips, softly running across them. “And your lips are light pink, which is like…” and he trailed off to think about it for a long time and Gavin almost laughed because he knew what pink was. Knew what they all were. But then Michael was looking at him again and his eyes were focused on Gavin’s, not his lips or skin or hair. “Your eyes are green, which is like an earthly color, it’s the color of most trees and forests and grass and shit, it’s so cool,” he reached up and Gavin shut his eyes tight to avoid getting injured but Michael just ran his fingers across his eyelids lightly. “Green is my favorite color,”

“Really?” Gavin asked, voice too loud in the quiet apartment.

“Yeah,” Michael whispered back. He took his hand away from Gavin’s face and let the other open his eyes again. “It’s a really nice color, and your eyes are a really nice shade,”

“That’s cool, I can’t wait to see it,” he laughed. He started to sit up, about to make an excuse so he could call Geoff and go home because this was too much. Being so close Michael all alone, but Michael’s hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.

“You should stay,”

“What?”

“Sleep over, stay the night. It’s my last night alone,”

“Yeah, wouldn’t you wanna spend it… alone?”

“No, I wanna spend it with my boi,” he smiled.

Gavin tried not to let his heart beat so hard, afraid Michael might hear it trying to escape his chest. “Okay,” he nodded, laying back down.

He didn’t wanna get confused, he needed to remember the situation. Michael wasn’t his, he couldn’t let himself get so affected by him, he couldn’t let this be something bigger than it was and soon Michael was drifting off to sleep on the floor next to him and Gavin was turning over so he could cry silently into his own arms because that was the only person he’d be able to cry to for the rest of his life.

~

“And do you Michael Jones, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

Gavin had blacked out the entire ceremony so far, had missed Lindsay walk in, missed the initial greetings and the vows and the presentation of the rings, he missed everything and now everyone’s eyes were on Michael. Michael who looked like he was about to vomit and couldn’t look at Lindsay or the priest or anyone  when he whispered.

“I-... no,”

There were gasps throughout the church and Gavin was sure he was one of them. Lindsay pulled her hands away from Michael and looked at him with a horrified expression but he just shook his head at her and turned towards Gavin and the other groomsmen, they were staring at him with wide eyes but he only looked at Gavin for the briefest of moments before he turned and looked back to Lindsay. “I’m sorry. I can’t,” and then he was walking away from the altar, and down the aisle and out of the church.

Everything happened in slow motion then. People standing up and rushing to Lindsay’s side, people standing to go after Michael, other’s telling them to just let him go. Everyone was frantic and confused and Gavin understood completely and he felt horrible. He felt like a monster, a complete and utter asshole, but there was a small part of him that felt hopeful and he knew that was wrong too. This was not the time to be happy. Lindsay was a sweet girl, a beautiful person in every way and Gavin ruined her big day.

He thought about going to her, giving her a hug, telling her everything, but there wasn’t enough time and there were too many people and Geoff was giving him the most shocked look and he couldn’t breathe. He walked out of the room and out of the church, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his jacket to let some air in because this was insanity. This was unheard of. This wasn’t fair.

He walked through town towards his house, ignoring people’s questions of ‘Are you Gavin Free?’ and ‘Looking good buddy!’ he couldn’t give them autographs or responses, he couldn’t focus. What was going on? Michael loved Lindsay. That was the most accurate statement in the world and he just left her at the altar like it was nothing, like she was some random girl he had met only a day before and obviously he couldn’t marry her, he didn’t know her. But he did know Lindsay, and she knew him and Gavin was sure that this was the one thing she never would’ve expected him to do and it was all Gavin’s fucking fault.

He turned to corner to his street and walked up to his gate when he stopped dead.

The white house was the same, the stone walkway was the same. There was no car in the driveway like normal, but sitting on his black steps was Michael, tie undone, jacket unbuttoned, shirt untucked, staring straight ahead. Straight at Gavin.

He pulled the gate open and stepped forward, walking the fifteen feet up to his steps and sitting next to Michael.

To be honest he thought he’d be the last person Michael would be with right now. He should’ve been with his parents or his brothers or hell even Lindsay, explaining himself to her but here he was on Gavin’s fucking doorstep and he was happy about it and this was so fucked up.

He looked at Michael patiently waiting for him to say something but he offered nothing, didn’t even look at him again. He watched cars pass and people walk by with their dogs or jog by for their afternoon run. Gavin thought about saying something but figured that really, he had said enough and now it was Michael’s turn to say something.

Sitting silently with Michael like this really made Gavin think about all the opportunities he had to tell Michael the truth, all the times he could’ve prevented this from happening. At lunch or dinner almost every night after they first met because they hit it off right away and became best friends. Gavin could’ve told him so many times at those meals. He could’ve told them over drinks at the bar when he was a couple in and could just blame it on alcohol in the morning. He could’ve told Michael between recordings when he didn’t have time to properly react because they needed to get another video in that day. He could’ve told him every day up till now.

He could’ve told him that he saw everything, he saw rainbows and ice cream cones in kids hands, bright pinks and blues in cotton candy at the fair they went to a few months after he started, right before Michael met Lindsay. He could’ve told him that when he looked at him he saw it all, he saw his skin and his eyes and hair and lips and his nails when he would sometimes go over them with different colored sharpies because he was bored during a meeting. He should’ve told him everything.

“I called Lindsay,” Michael said finally. Gavin actually jumped because they had been sitting on his front steps for a solid thirty minutes in silence. It was getting to the point that Gavin didn’t think Michael would say anything at all. “I told her I needed some time,”

“Is she okay?” Gavin whispered because he did care. He cared a lot and he knew he’d have to send her a lot of flowers and chocolates and maybe even buy her a litter of kittens to make up for this.

“Yeah, she doesn’t know what happened, just that I’m not ready,”

“You aren’t?”

“Of course I’m not Gavin!” he snapped. “You just dropped the biggest bomb on me and you expected me to walk out there and marry her?”

“I mean… yeah. She’s your soulmate,”

“But I’m _yours,”_

“The universe messes up sometimes Michael, I’m okay with it,”

“But _I’m_ not,”

Gavin opened his mouth to speak but all that came out was a high pitched whining sound followed by more tears streaming down his face. This was not how this day should’ve gone.

“I’m not okay with this Gavin. I’m confused and- and worried. Why didn’t you tell me? You’ve gone two years holding this from me? Why didn’t you tell me?” his gaze was too intense and Gavin couldn’t look at him when he spoke next.

“It’s _embarrassing_ Michael. Walking into a new job and meeting your soulmate and they just stare at you like you’re an idiot? It’s scary and heartbreaking, and I didn’t want to be mocked,”

“Mocked? Gavin, this isn’t funny. It’s not a joke, I want to make sure you’re okay,”

“ _I’m_ okay?” Gavin nearly screeched. “Michael, you just left your soulmate on your wedding day, I’m fucking fine, I’m worried about you and Lindsay. Say the word and I’ll never speak to either of you again, I feel terrible,”

“Gavin, I don’t want you to disappear. You’re my best friend, I feel horrible that you’ve had to hide this for two years, and I’ve just gone on and on about Lindsay and how much I love her and all this shit and you just… you just smiled and cheered me on,”

“I didn’t wanna make you upset,” he whispered, voice cracking. Michael reached out for him then, dropping a hand on his knee and squeezing.

“I’m not upset. I’m _sorry_ ,”

“Don’t be Michael, you had no way of knowing,”

“I know, but I just… I wish you had told me,”

“Michael, this is on me, please don’t be sorry or sad. Just… go talk to Lindsay, make things right, I’ll be okay,”

“But I-” Michael stopped himself, mouth snapping shut and head dropping to his hands.

“What?”

“I don’t know if I will be,”

“What?”

“Okay, I mean. I don’t know if I’ll be okay,”

“Why?”

“I just… I don’t know. When I found out you could see color, before you kissed me, I just… the thought of you having met your soulmate and it being someone else… scared me. I mean part of me always figured it would be someone else, obviously. You never said anything, but… when it was actually happening? When you might’ve met them and I didn’t know...”

Gavin couldn’t believe he had been right. Michael had been jealous or upset or confused or _something_ about Gavin possibly meeting his soulmate. This still wasn’t the time to be happy about it though.

“So… what do we do now?” he asked.

“I don’t know Gavin,”

“Lindsay’s your soulmate,”

“I know,”

“Marry her, you already love her and live with her,”

“I know that, but…”

“But what?”

“I don’t know Gavin! I can’t get my thoughts straight now. You’re my best friend, I’m your soulmate, Lindsay is mine, I’m hers, it should be easy but… it’s all mixed up and I don’t know what I should do,”

“What do you want to do Michael?”

“I really don’t know Gavin,” he sounded defeated and Gavin assumed that there was nothing wrong in putting his arm around him for comfort right now because he needed it and no matter what would happen, they were best friends first. “I- I need time to wrap my head around things,”

“Okay,”

“What if… what if I did wanna try things with you?” he asked quietly and if Gavin wasn’t already sitting down he would’ve fallen over.

“What?”

“I- I don’t know, but… before Lindsay I thought about it, I considered it a few times but then she arrived and I- I don’t know Gavin. But maybe… I don’t know,”

Gavin had imagined this conversation thousands of times. Michael confessing to Gavin that there was hope for them, but he didn’t quite imagine it would be on Michael’s wedding day after he left his soon to be bride at the altar and showed up at Gavin’s doorstep where he should’ve punched Gavin in the face, but instead was sitting and telling him that he thought about him romantically before.

“Okay,” Gavin said calmly because he couldn’t let himself get carried away right now. There were important things to discuss.

“I just… I’m gonna take some time and talk to Lindsay properly and think about things okay?”

“Whatever you want Michael,” Gavin was in no position to argue with him about this. He was just happy that he was getting anything out of this whole fucked up situation.

“Okay,” Michael nodded, moving so he was sitting closer to Gavin and leaning down to rest his head on Gavin’s shoulder. They had done it dozens of times on podcasts or when they watched movies at Geoff’s house or when they hung out at the bar but right now Gavin knew it was much bigger than two best friends being comfortable. This was intimate and different and when they eventually walked away from each other here there would be questions to ask themselves and things to say to people and changes would be made. Things would never really be the same between them, or with Lindsay and that was something they were both gonna have to live with. But right now, with Michael leaning on him for support and the sun beginning to set he found that he didn’t really care what happened after today because this was not the euphoria he had heard about, but it was some kind of bliss and he’d gladly take it for the time being.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't exactly do the Michael/Lindsay/Gavin that was mentioned in the prompt but I hope you still enjoyed it!  
> I left the ending open so you could take it however you want.


End file.
